You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

That song "Find Out Who Your Friends Are" by Tracy Lawrence has been running through my head at an almost continual rate since last Saturday, when I thought the dream of Forever Sky might just die.

Everybody wants to slap your back
Wants to shake your hand
When you’re up on top of that mountain

Let one of those rocks get wet
And you slide back down
Look up and see who’s around then

This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the band wagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lotta folks jump off.

You find out who your friends are
Somebody’s gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think “what’s in it for me?”
Or “It’s way too far.”
They just show on up
With their big ol’ heart
You find out who your friends are.

The funny thing is that I didn't realize I HAD so many friends. True friends. People who would go out of their way to help me out, to help the ranch out.

Saturday night I feared we weren't going to be able to make the ranch work. The next afternoon at 4:00, my ENTIRE BARN had conveened to figure out what we could do to save what we had.

"It's what family does," said Diane. "When things get rough, family pulls together."

And because of that family, it looks as though Forever Sky will be stronger than ever. I just have to do my best to stop "thinking with my heart" as Alexis puts it. But the truth is, I'm not a business woman. I'm a horse lover. A people lover. A lover of life. A writer. It's not in my nature to make the figures work! But I guess I have to. (Good thing Leslie's a book keeper!)

Now I have this feeling in my core that I can't explain. It's some combination of awe, joy, embarassment, thankfulness, love, astonishment, wonder, and excitement.

I'll never be able to thank all of the people who have offered their care and concern, who have given their all to help out, who have prayed unceasingly....all the people who have shown me what it means to be a friend. I will spend my life doing my best to repay such kindness.

I have always lived my life on faith. I trust that if I work my hardest. If I give more than I get. If I listen more than I talk. If I follow the path set before me. If I trust in God, then everything will work out. It might not work out the way I want, but it will work out the way it's supposed to.

Now, more than ever before, I realize that Forever Sky Ranch has become much more than a barn and pastures and fencing. I also realize that it no longer belongs just to me. It belongs to my family--to all those people who have made it, and continue to make it, what it is. It also belongs to those people we have yet to meet, those of you who will one day join our family. We'll welcome you with open arms. And on that day, I'll be able to say, without reservation, that as part of the Forever Sky Family, you will never lack for love and support.

Thank you so much, my friends. I love you. All of you.

"Excuse me, have you seen my ass?"

Some of you know that I moved Dexter and The Donkey (aka Raya) to my house a few weeks ago. Sarah and Cynthia wanted to bring their horses to the ranch, so I called Janine and asked if we had room for them (Janine IS the barn guru after all.) Because we haven't finished fencing the new pastures, Janine's answer was a resounding NO. No room in the Inn.

So I made room. I hooked up the trailer, loaded up the ponies, and took them to my back yard.

Interestingly enough, we own the one lot in our subdivision that can have horses--or whatever else we might want. We joked for years about getting chickens and goats, to the chagrin of our neighbors, of course. We never really thought the backyard would hold anything but two rambunctious dogs. Guess anything is possible.

I didn't know exactly what would happen when I unloaded Raya and Dexter and unleashed them on my backyard. I unhooked their halters, and....

they grazed.

After a little while, they found the roomy back porch and decided it made a good run-in shelter. They used the chair cushions as play toys. They became fond of looking in the windows. They made a game of stalking the cats. They conned our neighbors into giving them carrots over the fence. Raya even discovered that she could start braying early in the morning loud enough to get me hustling to get her food.

They were happy.

But then space opened up for them at the ranch once again, so today I backed my trailer into my driveway and prepared to load up the babies and take them back "where they belong."

I have a feeling, however, that Dexter has known for some time exactly where he belongs: the living room. And since he hadn't had a chance to guilt-trip us into letting him inside, Dexter was certain that his stay at the homestead was not over. He refused to get on the trailer. Now, this is a pony that has walked with me into the breakroom at the ranch while I got a drink from the fridge. The same pony that we took to the NWFAC Christmas party and walked him past a mechanical bull to a tiny room and had his picture made with Santa. The pony that has always stepped right up into the trailer.

After about fifteen minutes, he finally loaded. Brat.

I was worried, though, about Raya. At the ranch, Janine and Josh had to get behind her with a butt rope and push while I pulled. But today, I had only my husband, Allen, with me.

My main concern was that Raya might bolt, something she does with glee whenever she gets the whim. And once she has decided to bolt, that's it. You can hang on and go for a bumpy ride, but there's nothing you can do to stop her.

At the ranch, it's no big deal. If she bolts, she bolts. There's no where for her to go. But in my front yard, if she took off, there would be a donkey loose in the neighborhood.

"I'd have to go door to door," I told my mom, "asking people if they had seen a donkey."

My mom stifled a laugh. "Or 'Excuse me, have you seen my ass?'"

"Mom!" I exclaimed.

"Hey, it's from your mom. It's in the Bible."

(I'm still cracking up about that.)

As it turned out, Raya was fairly easy to load. Once she had her front feet on the ramp, I called my son Matthew over to help. He grabbed one end of a lead rope and Allen held the other. They had barely touched her and she walked right into the trailer.

Now the backyard seems just a bit too empty, though I'm sure the grass is taking a sigh of relief--what's left of it, that is. I know Raya and Dex are better off at the ranch--or at least my backyard is better off now that they are AT the ranch. But I'll sure miss Raya braying in the morning and seeing Dexter sacked out on the lawn, sound asleep.

Eat, Pray, Love

I have to admit that I am a huge Twilight fan. I read the entire 4-book series in 5 days. Last year I found myself up at 2am reading New Moon, determined to finish the book before going to sleep. Then like an addict I started Eclipse at 3am without even a bathroom break.

I went to see the movie rendition of Eclipse today. While the movie itself was "okay," what really stayed with me was the trailer for the movie "Eat, Pray, Love." Julia Roberts plays the main character.

"I used to have this appetite for my life," she says. "And it's just gone."

As I get closer to 40, with all the stresses of life, I often wonder how I can hold on to the little girl inside me, the one who can't wait to plunge into life, the one who isn't afraid to trust, the one who loves freely and openly, whose insides are bursting with excitement for everything that life has to offer.

I admit I was starting to doubt it was possible to hold on to such passion for life. Maybe it slowly died, I thought, with every hurt, with every disappointment, with every betrayal.

Then I met Cher.

Cher walked into my barn this past April with a dream. She wanted to get her first horse. Once she had voiced her dream, Cher set out with passionate determination to find an equine companion. After a few disappointments (and one lost deposit from an incredibly unfair woman in Georgia), Cher found Lily.

The day she brought Lily home to the ranch was something to see. I have never seen someone so happy to get a horse. I mean, I wasn't even that happy the day I got Sky, and I was pretty darn happy that day! (Sorry Sky! You know I love you!)

Not only did Cher seem happy to have her Lily-pad, she seemed happy about everything, sort of like a 14-yr-old girl who still thinks life is a bundle of roses with endless possibilities.

Did I mention that Cher is 62?

If I didn't, it's because age isn't something you think about when you meet Cher. She's a beautiful woman. You think that. She has a figure to die for. You think that. She is sweet. You definitely think that. Genuine. Yes. Energetic. Yep. But age? Nope. Not something that crosses your mind.


Really, Cher actually makes me feel old.

"You don't start getting old," says Cher, "until you decide that you are all grown up!"

I'm definitely not all grown up (just ask my mom!) so I suppose there is hope for me yet.

The day Lily arrived, Cher taped this letter to Lily's stall:

DEAR FRIENDS AT FOREVER SKY RANCH,

I WANTED TO INTRODUCE MYSELF. MY NAME IS CHER; I'M A CHRISTIAN AND A NEW MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY HERE AT FSR! I JUST PURCHASED MY VERY FIRST HORSE!!! I'VE WANTED ONE SINCE AGE 3 (ASKED FOR ONE EVERY BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS OF MY LIFE) AND I'M GETTING READY TO TURN 63, SO IT'S BEEN A LONG 60 YEARS COMING! IT'S A DREAM COME TRUE FOR ME!! CAN YOU TELL HOW EXCITED I AM? . . . AND IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS!! I KNOW I HAVE SOOOO MUCH TO LEARN AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO OBSERVE PROPER BARN ETIQUETTE AND FOLLOW THE BARN RULES. IF I MESS UP, PLEASE LET ME KNOW RIGHT AWAY AND I WILL TRY TO NOT REPEAT THE MISTAKE. (IF I DO, JUST WRITE ON A POST-IT AND STICK IT ON MY FOREHEAD!!) I WILL TRY NOT TO BE A PAIN IN THE BUTT WITH THE MANY QUESTIONS I'M GOING TO HAVE. I HOPE YOU CAN BE PATIENT WITH ME WHILE I ABSORB EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT CARING FOR A HORSE AND IMPROVING MY EQUESTRIAN SKILLS.
I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU ALL AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME BECOME A MEMBER OF THE FOREVER SKY FAMILY! I JUST LOVE THIS PLACE!

CHER HEFFERNAN, LILY'S MOM

I smiled when I read that note. It was full of such life and energy, such warmth. I knew then that Cher coming to Forever Sky was a blessing of some sort, like a gift from an angel. (Actually, if I found out that Cher WAS an Angel, I wouldn't be surprised one bit. I'd probably say something like, "And?")

A few weeks ago I was having a moment of inner turmoil. Something inside me looked to Cher for what I hoped would be a small piece of advice. Her return email was long, thoughtful, and caring. It actually brought me to tears. She ended her wonderful letter by writing

"Pray. Be yourself. Be happy."

Thank you, Cher. For being part of the family at Forever Sky. For your laughter. Your joy. Your friendship. And your smile. But most of all, THANK YOU for showing me that regardless of what life throws at you, it IS possible to hold on to your appetite for life, your passion, your excitement, and your love.

I'm Really Not a Biker Chick

I love tattoos. I always have. I wanted to have a tattoo long before tattooing became a fad and every California teenager had have her navel surrounded with an image of the sun. There really should be warnings posted about tummy tattoos--something like "If you get this now, don't get pregnant. Ever. Just saying."

My Uncle David was "inked up." He was retired from the Navy and sported a blue splotchy anchor on one forearm and a blue splotchy busty woman on the other.

I LOVED those tattoos. I was six years old, and I loved them. I used to trace the anchor with my fingers. I think I was too embarrassed to touch the lady.

Of course when I told my mom I was going to have tattoos when I grew up, her response was "That's nice, honey." She probably thought that my desire to put permanent marks on my body would pass along with my desire to have fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror of my future car.

But it didn't. (Sorry, Mom!)

So when you walk into the barn and see a woman with a tattoo of a panther on her upper arm, that's me. Hi. I'm really not a biker chick. I just love tattoos.

Carla, my very first boarder and my very good friend, sent me a text yesterday. It was just a picture. Of a tattoo. A wolf and a dragonfly on a woman's shoulder blade. HER shoulder blade.

"Did you just get a tattoo???!!!?" I exclaimed with texting punctuation.
"Yep," was all she wrote.

My first thought was "We're going to have a barn full of chicks with tattoos." My second thought was, "I have such a cool barn."

Tattoos are addictive. Once you get the first one, there's something inside you that wants to get another.

I have four.

I think number five will be a horse. Not sure where that one's going just yet. I'll let you know when I decide. :-) Just don't tell my mom.

Whiskey for my Men, Beer for my horses.

A few years ago I hated the Toby Keith song about Whiskey and Horses. I couldn't listen to it. When it came on, I would turn the station.

"Awful," I thought. "Just Awful."

I hated it.

It's important to say, I suppose, that I always thought the lyrics were "Whiskey for my men, BE-FORE my horses."

I was appalled. Those horses broke their backs to get those ungrateful poor excuses for men to wherever it is they were getting (yes, I realize it's just a song, but still) and those pathetic self-centered cowboys were going to give their men whiskey first? Not on my watch. Heck no.

Later I realized the song was "Whiskey for my men, BEER for my horses."

I felt much better after that.

I have to say, Naysa LOVES beer.

She smells it and her neck stretches out so long you would think she was a giraffe.

A friend of mine who drinks Corona--and only Corona--gave Naysa her first sip of beer last year. After that, she became a total addict.

Today, when I walked in the breakroom, I checked all the coolers that were still sitting out after our amazing party this past Saturday. (I have been forbidden from blogging about the party. Yes, it was a REALLY fun evening.) The IGLOO cooler which held the beer was still full of ice--even after two days.

I picked up an ice-cold Coors and thought two things: 1) I would love to drink this (I'm not drinking beer these days) and 2) I bet Naysa would love this.

I covered the beer cap with my FSR shirt and twisted. A bit of cool fog drifted about the opening of the beer.

When I walked out to give Naysa a sip of beer, I heard Katrina call out, "You're not getting my horse drunk, are you??"

Katrina had brought her horse Amira in for a lesson with Alexis. (Amira is a gorgeous Arabain mare. Way too good for beer. I'd guess high-class champagne for her.) Amira was nickering at the sight of me providing "treats" to other horses.

"No," I called down the barn aisle. "Just giving Naysa her fix!"

Nay took a few laps of beer from my hand, but then turned her nose up. (Guess it wasn't Corona.) I ended up with most of the beer on my shirt and the rest splashed on the ground. I could hear my Corona friend say, "That's downright alcohol abuse, that is."

The moral of the story??

There IS no moral to this story! I'm just glad our horses get beer if they want it, and there's not much cowboy whiskey drinking going on.

**Amira would like to inform her public--now that she has become a blog star--that she will not be taking any phone calls but will be signing hoof-o-graphs for a special select few.

Every Journey Has a Beginning

My two sons and I were watching movie trailers today--The Last Airbender, Avatar, Toy Story 3, Twilight Eclipse--when somehow we came upon the preview for Star Wars, Episode I. The boys were captivated. I had to read out loud the words on the screen:

Every Generation has a Legend.

Every Journey has a First Step.

Every Saga has a Beginning.

I suddenly saw Alexis as Obi-Wan Kenobi training Jedi Star fighters, and I laughed out loud. The boys made me start the trailer over because I interrupted. Brats. :-)

It's true, though. Every journey does have a first step. And every saga does have a beginning. Forever Sky took that first step on July 18th of last year, when we officially opened for horsey business. We had a big party that day. It was Sky's birthday. One year ago the ranch was quiet. I had my horses. I had Janine. And I had a very big dream. The worst that could happen was that no one would share my dream. But little by little, things began to happen. And the dream began to become reality.

Now, a year later, I look back at all the activities FSR has hosted: Adult Horse Camp, Dressage Workshops, a fantastic Schooling Show, and an incredible summer kids' camp. The young ladies at kids camp had so much fun that they begged Alexis to start a Saddle Club. (Please, Obi-Wan. We are ready to train.) So this year, as we approach our anniversary, I'm no longer the only one holding on to the dream of what Forever Sky can be. Now we have a team of dreamers--the FSR team.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the FSR Saddle Club.

**Insert Applause**

Next Saturday, the 17th of July, at 4:00pm, FSR will celebrate its first anniversary. We'll have food and cake, wine and beer. We'll have brand new FSR shirts for sale. And we'll have plenty of nice, cold A/C in the breakroom. In addition, the Forever Sky Saddle Club will have its first official meeting. (If you're interested, come an hour early. The group is meeting at 3:00)

We are so excited about our upcoming party! Please join us and help us celebrate the fact that every so often dreams can, and do, come true.

Two Roosters in a Stall

34 days.

That's how long it's been since I posted the last blog. I've toyed around with a few stories, but I couldn't bring myself to wrap them up and post them, not until today.

Every time I would start writing about the FSR kids camp or Katrina getting separated from her horse, or my trip to get Ruby from Texas, or how I actually printed brochures with "Let your Imagination SORE," I would see that picture of Jake chilling out on the couch, his mouth slightly open in that wonderful doggy grin.

To post a new blog meant taking Jake off the front page. I suppose in my subconscious, somewhere, I felt that putting up a new blog meant that my life with Jake was really in the past. And I wasn't ready to let go.

This morning when I arrived at the ranch, everything was quiet. It was drizzling a bit, and the dark sky and cool wind promised we could expect more than a drizzle at any moment. Since I was just coming to drop off brochures, I planned to be in and out fast before the sky opened up and I had to carry on with wet clothes. But as I turned to leave, Naysa nickered at me.

I was forced to head to the peppermint drawer.

While I was feeding Naysa's peppermint addiction, I suddenly heard a resounding

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!"

I literally froze.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!"

I headed toward the noise.

"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!!!"

I stopped at an empty stall and slowly moved to peer over the door. There they were. Two roosters in a cage. They looked at me and cocked their heads to the side--no pun intended. Their big red combs flopped with the quick movement of their feathered heads.

I started to laugh. It was one of those laughs that comes from deep inside, the kind you know you can't stop. I just kept laughing. And then I laughed more.

Turns out the roosters were waiting for Janine's mother to come pick them up. FSR was just a short stop on their way to a new home. (In their cramped cage, I'm sure they felt like any of us do at the Atlanta airport.)

Life never ceases to amaze me. Somehow, on a rainy, miserable day, those two funny roosters made me realize it was okay to move on.

Rest in Peace, Jake. We still miss you. We always will.